Thursday, October 27, 2011

Reason # 872

Why I could never be an athlete: I don't like to be yelled at.

Where does this come from? Last night we went to watch our neighbor/friend play volleyball. She's a senior this year & it was Senior Night at her high school. They won in 3 straight games (much to my delight because I was hungry). The opposing teams coach seemed to be a bit of a witch. She just had that look about her. Then she started the pointing & yelling. That's when I said "That's another reason I couldn't be an athlete. When people yell at me it makes me more nervous & I'll just screw up more".  I used to say "That's why I'm NOT an athlete" to which Dean once commented "Oh really? THAT'S the reason why??" Which is how it got changed to "another reason". I know this probably isn't a conversation that most of you have with your husbands but we have it fairly often. I guess because we watch a lot of sports it comes up often. I see something happen that I don't like & I'm all "that's why blah blah blah".

I suppose the main reason that I'm not an athlete is that I'm awful at sports. Watching the volleyball game last night reminded me of my years & years of P.E. classes in school. I told Dean how much I hated when we played volleyball in P.E. because it hurt my arms. That made me think about how there was nothing that I liked about P.E. I absolutely HATED every last second of it. I remember in 5th grade we had to play golf. That was awful. The grass probably hasn't filled in yet from where I butchered it trying to hit that stupid little ball. In 6th grade my friend & I saw our 5th grade P.E. teacher at the Worlds Fair in New Orleans & he introduced us to some of his students as "the 2 laziest people I've ever taught".  Apparently, he confused total & complete lack of interest & skill to lazy.

Then there was softball. Good grief, another little ball. Not to mention I throw like a girl. I'm constantly reminded of that by my brother.

I even hated square dancing. Who wanted to dance with those nasty boys? Not me. YUCK! OH & then it was high school. We were going to learn CPR on a dummy. At the ripe old age of 14 I had absolutely ZERO interest in learning this skill. The thought of having to actually breathe into someone's mouth to save their life was, for lack of a better word, GROSS. I also remember being in lots of trouble for having an F in P.E. on my progress report because I wasn't doing CPR correctly so the dummy wasn't lighting up like it was supposed to when I saved it.  Don't even get me started on the "dressing out". Those P.E. outfits were AWFUL!! Not to mention it was very hard to take that t-shirt on & off without messing up my very big hair. It was the early 90's people, the hair was big & it was PERMED!!! Don't laugh.

So you see, athlete I am not! 



  1. Great post...well at least you got to wear T-shirt and can't even imagine how ugly our PE outfits were in the early 70' piece of stiff cotton that had to be ironed...yes I said ironed! Horrible!! I am not athletic either...but I love to hike!

  2. LOL!I can so relate. I am not an athlete either, nor do I care to be. Sports are of no interest to me whatsoever, but I certainly am not lazy, I just don't like them. I was a cheerleader in high school, and really wasn't coordinated enough to do that. In our little school, if you didn't play sports, you were a nobody! There was nothing else to do because we weren't big enough to have a band, and a lot of the sports that we have today didn't exist back in my time. Anyhoo, don't feel bad because your not alone. Oh, and the big hair? Oh my, lets not go there, and the blue eyeshadow. Oh my is all I can say to either of those.

  3. Lmao! I used to play basketball in school but as far as softball is concerned, I'd like to stay as far away from it as possible. I was always the girl who was "accidentally" not feeling good when we had to play it in PE, lol. I can strike out on a tee that's how bad I am! Yikes!

  4. Too funny!!! You don't have to be an athlete to follow LSU football, right?

    My husband went to AL....going to be an interesting weekend next Sat :) Hope it's a good game!

  5. We are kindred spirits! I am terrible at all sports - and I don't care! I am a ball magnet - they tend to hit me straight in the face.
    I don't like to sweat. I don't like to breathe too hard. I am allergic to grass. I am also not competitive.
    All of which drives the Canadian NUTS. :)